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Editor: Teresa Proudlove Issue #003 Aug 21, 2004

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Table of Contents

1. Not Good Enough

2. The Secret Garden

3. On Our Knees

4. Bach Please

5. Readers’ Comments

Although summer always seems to be busy with work, holidays, (weddings!!), kids at home and visitors; September heralds a different kind of busy-ness. It is back to the routine, new projects get launched, class and homework begins, and the work pace quickens. Even if unemployed - the work of job-hunting slips into a higher tempo come fall.

I have taken on two new contracts over the next six weeks, wherein I am facilitating different programs for our local University College…in addition to my coaching and week-long programs. I am very grateful for the opportunity to stretch and learn but am also acutely aware of the stress I am feeling taking on this new work.

Indeed, I am feeling more stress than I care to admit to. Too often I find myself driven by feelings of “I don’t know enough, not prepared enough, don’t have enough time, don’t have the right answers to their problems…” Translation? “I am not enough, I feel inadequate, anxious, afraid, I won’t be able to do it right.” (Although, a part of me knows with certainty I’ll do just fine!)

It is interesting how we suffer the same feelings when we’re not working…”not feeling good enough, feeling a lack of the skills, knowledge, experience, answers needed to career change.” Unemployed or working; money or lack thereof; a relationship or not; we must somehow come to peace with this old ghost that so regularly haunts most of us. Louise Haye, author and internationally acclaimed healer proclaims, “I am not good enough, I am not worthy” is at the core of all humanity.

Rather than continually buy into the idea that the right job, education, experience, skills, relationship, income will make us feel OK; instead, it is helpful to acknowledge the feelings under these thoughts. If we can feel and acknowledge our fear, inadequacy, unworthiness, we can begin to see all the different ways we want to run from it; all the different things we grasp at to make us feel better.

Grasping at externals to allay our fears only drives us further and faster from our truth. Herein, are a few strategies that have helped me manage my stress and inadequacies lately.

I discovered life-giving cues within “The Secret Garden.” Yes, the one you read as a child by “Frances Hodgson Burnett.” Recently I reread this delightful book and highly recommend it to you. You won’t be disappointed.

Each night, I happily informed my family I was going to bed early, and slipped into to my “Secret Garden.” Pressures, anxieties, fears of the day (and future) disappeared as I pushed aside the long sweeping ivy, hiding the secret door and entered that hidden haven of peace, sweet fragrance and green growing things.

Children, who had been crippled physically, mentally and emotionally by a lack of love, constant negativity, and having everything their own way, slowly but surely, became healed within the secret garden. The fresh air; working in the dirt; having a place of safety and beauty; learning to love all living things; and wonderful positive camaraderie caused the children to bloom as surely as the crocuses in springtime.

Couldn’t we all do with our own “Secret Garden?” Finding, tending, minding, sitting within our own “Secret Garden” can give us solace and healing too. As they say in the “Secret Garden,” “Where we tend roses; thistles cannot grow.”

How do we find the hidden key and secret door? We find the “buried” key to our garden by returning to our breath. One breath at a time we find our way into that haven of peace and safety within each of us.

Each breath brings us back into the present moment. Being Wholly Present is being in the Holy Presence. My husband Steve and I have gotten down on our knees a few times lately to pray with yet, more earnest. Our prayers were answered as some of our anxious burdens were lifted although at times, not for long. I am thinking maybe we had best just stay on our knees! We are definitely not calling for religious converts here, however, if you would like to read further about humble spiritual practices click here.

Another wonderful technique that has helped us alleviate stress and fear is to listen to Bach. Or Mozart. Or Vivaldi. Or any classical music that suits you. It shifts us into a different part of our brain and can ease us emotionally as well.

Put on your favorite classical music and really bring all of your awareness to just listening to the notes, instruments, melodies. See if you don’t feel refreshed, lighter, more at peace. Oh yes, and remember to trust and breathe!

I would love to hear from you!

Please email me feedback, thoughts, concerns, insights you have about this e-zine, our site or your lifework journey to Teresa. I would love to share my lifework wisdom with you!

If you would like ongoing, personalized lifework guidance with me, Teresa click here and we can start now. Send me a lifework concerns you have and I will write back to you with a few thoughts and suggestions – at no cost to you for the first e-mail session. This way you can get a better feel for who I am and what I have to offer you. From here you can decide if you would like further guidance from me or not – with no obligation.

If you would like more information about Teresa, click here. Reminders Remember to click refresh as you revisit yourlifework.com as I am always editing, re-writing and adding. Remember: Be gentle with yourself. Listen to your guidance. Navigate through life and work with more peace and acceptance. Visit The Secret Garden regularly!

I am closing this month’s “Yourlifework Guide” with an article sent in from Sally in America, entitled “Am I Teachable?” Thank you, Sally for sharing your lifework wisdom with us!

So, my friend, thank your for your time. I hope you enjoyed this e-zine and found it useful. I look forward to hearing from you. So, my until next month’s issue…

Warmest regards, Teresa

Am I Teachable?

I am willing to listen more than talk. I admit when I am mistaken.

I observe before acting on a situation. I am able to agree to disagree.

I desire information more than answer. I enjoy asking questions.

I am open to suggestions and new ideas. I feel comfortable asking for advice or directions.

I am a patient and a willing "student". I enjoy reading for information that is practical and applicable.

I seek out new perspectives on the questions of life. I can appreciate criticism without being deeply wounded.

Marty Williams, Pastor of Family Ministries