Welcome to our free newsletter, "Yourlifework Guide," offering tips and inspirations to help you find more meaning in your in life and work.

Begin within: follow your inner guidance, do less and be more, and live life with more acceptance and peace.

Issue #010 March 31, 2005

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I know how busy you are so I have written just over 600 words which will take you about two minutes to read. Enjoy!

Table of Contents

1. The Price of Perfectionism

2. Thank You God!

We pay a high price for perfectionism. “What perfectionism?” we perfectionists mutter. “We’ve known for years perfectionism is not healthy so we have dealt with this issue and strive for personal excellence only!” Really?

When you slip-up - maybe handle a situation, task or project less than perfectly – what do you say to yourself? Are you able to commend yourself on what you did well and perhaps then, note a thing or two you could improve upon in the future? Or do you focus on the “mistake or less-than-perfect” behaviour neglecting your positive efforts?

Recently I completed facilitating six evening “Leadership” sessions. Being only my second time facilitating this particular series I closely observed my “perfectionistic” tendency. As I completed each session I could readily see areas I could have improved upon.

For me, it took a huge effort to commend myself on what I had done well and to be gentle with myself on the areas of improvement. In fact, I made a pointed effort of congratulating myself after each session and allowed myself the joy and relief of savoring a job well done when the series of six was completed. This is not a simple, natural process for us perfectionists.

To further this exercise in self-acknowledgement I did not read my participant’s evaluations at the program end as usual. This was perhaps a first in my fourteen years of facilitating. Too often, I have rushed to read the evaluations to determine my success.

Eventually I will receive a summary of the evaluations from the College I was contracted to but more importantly, I have deepened my self esteem and self worth through rewarding, congratulating and commending myself despite what others may think. As we acknowledge our own achievements we begin to wean ourselves from being reliant on outside influences to determine our worth or how well we have done. We begin to befriend ourselves and give the internal “Judge” less power over us.

These perfectionistic tendencies (which effect most of humanity, I suspect) cause us to devalue our worth and work. The cycle is perpetuated when we ignore our achievements and focus on our mistakes. Perfectionists have trouble truly enjoying the fruits of their efforts by not only focusing on what went wrong but by rushing into worry over the next thing they have to do.

When caught in this repetitive ritual of “not good enough… do better… do more…” I have found this simple phrase very freeing… “Not perfect but well enough!” Yes! Thank You God!

“Thank You God” is another simple phrase that can help relieve us of the burden of perfectionism. Not only have I been working on giving myself credit but also on thanking God for His/Her part in my success. I know I must constantly turn to my God, my Source, my Higher Power – call it what you will – for guidance in all I do.

In the perfectionist’s mind it is all up to ME to do everything so very, very well but of course, never quite measuring up. The more I trust that God is working in me and through me the more I can lay down the heavy burden of perfectionism. It is not all up to ME. My job is to “do my best and give God the rest.”

Even in the midst of my fear, doubt and inadequacy I can comfort and encourage myself to stay the course, trusting God is also at work and all is unfolding according to a design far greater than my understanding. As an Alcoholics Anonymous slogan so simply says “Let go and let God.” What a relief to not be responsible for doing everything AND doing it perfectly!

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Remember: Be gentle with yourself. Listen to your guidance. Navigate through life and work with more peace and acceptance.

So, my friend, thank your for your time. I hope you enjoyed this e-zine and found it useful. I look forward to hearing from you. So, until next month’s issue…

Warmest regards,

Teresa