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Your Lifework Guide, Acceptance and Gifts for Our Loved Ones #029
August 31, 2006
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Editor and Publisher: Teresa Proudlove

Issue #029 August 31, 2006

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These 690 words will take you less than two minutes to read. Read on if you want to know more about “From Loss to Acceptance” and the “Gifts for Loved Ones.”

Table of Contents

1. Through Loss to Acceptance

2. Ten Things NOT to Say

3. Gifts for Our Loved Ones

4. Nourish Your Soul

Through Loss to Acceptance

Last ezine I mentioned we had been to two funerals within one month. At times, my husband and I feel burdened by the daily demands of life - as though nothing happened. Life goes on.

Adding to this feeling of loss is the summer’s rapid passing. Another season of life passing… Through the loss we move toward acceptance. One day I accept the losses as the natural order of things – another moment a part of me rebels and wants to hold on. Accepting, denying; letting go, holding on. Accepting our mixed bag of emotions is the beginning of acceptance. Can we relax a bit with the uncertainty of it all, with not knowing, with not understanding?

Ten Things NOT to Say

With tongue in cheek we thought we should write a list of the ten things NOT to say to a person who has lost a loved one. However well-meaning or true these comments are they do not help bear the burden of grief.

1. They are in a better place now.
2. They’re suffering is over now.
3. Well, at least they lived a good life.
4. Well, at least they lived a long life.
5. You were lucky to have them as long as you did.
6. He/she is not the body.
7. Time will heal your pain.
8. This too shall pass.
9. You’ve got to go through it, buddy.
10. You have so much to be thankful for.

Gifts for Our Loved Ones

Giving advice and/or relaying our own history/religion/philosophy does not help a person in times of loss. Simply listening, a concerned look, or offering heart-felt words of empathy and caring helps others through troubled times – an important point to remember with our loved ones.

Our loved one’s hurt or fear may go unheeded because of our carelessly given comments or well-intentioned advice. Advice is only welcome when asked for! When in emotional need - we want to be heard. Our reality needs to be validated – not fixed, or white-washed.

Let us gift our loved ones by truly listening, even when loved ones are saying things we do not want to hear. Can we listen? Can we validate their reality? Most of us are far too quick to insert our own point of view.

Let us seek first to understand. As we seek to understand others first, we are moved from our own agenda and others open up to us. As they are freed to speak of their fear or hurt we help them carry their burden.

Nourish Your Soul

To assuage our own life burdens we can nourish our souls and gain peace of mind by returning to nature. The truth of this healing filled me yesterday as we took our grief to the lake, sun, clean air, trees and rocks… enrapt in David Thoreau’s “bloom of the present moment.” So simple, yet so healing.

Prayer and gratitude are also great healers. These quotes offered me a certain solace this morning…

"Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels. If we take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled we feel, we can find something to be thankful for. The more we seek gratitude, the more reason the angels will give us for gratitude and joy to exist in our lives." --Terry Lynn Taylor

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." --Melody Beattie

Well, my friends, hope you enjoyed these simple, yet powerful reminders.

Again, a reminder to drop me a line and let me know if you enjoyed this article or have suggestions – insights – stories – questions?

Warmest regards,

Teresa
I would love to hear from you! Really!! It can get lonely out here in cyber-space! Please send me your feedback, thoughts, concerns, queries, insights or stories you may have! Click here to contact me, Teresa.
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Remember: Be gentle with yourself. Listen to your guidance. Navigate through life and work with more peace and acceptance.

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