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Editor and Publisher: Teresa Proudlove
Issue #037 March 31, 2007

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These 745 words will take you a little more than two minutes to read. Read on to know more about
Avoiding the Dream Killers Part 1.

Table of Contents

1. Avoiding the Dream Killers

2. Listening to Uniformed Advice and/or Negative Criticism

3. Staying Confused, Lost, Overwhelmed, Frustrated, Discouraged

4. Telephone Consulting/Coaching to Launching NOW!

Avoiding the Dream Killers

After deeply pondering why many people grow wings and fly in my workshops while a few seem to mire in confusion and discouragement, I decided to write a series of articles on "The Things That Get in the Way of Creating the Work You Love." This mushrooming list has grown to nine things with this newsletter being the first installment of a three part series. The first and very prevalent hurdle to making dreams come true was taught to me at a very early age.

Back in my high school days, as my interest in school-work sharply declined - with my marks following - I was called into the student counselor's office. Trying to explain my disinterest in school with examples of mind-numbing, clone-creating classes only elicited an exasperated query from the counselor of, "Yes but, what do you want to BE when you grow up?"

I told him I didn't know what I wanted to be but I did know I wanted to world travel. I'll never forget his response… "Oh, be realistic! We all have those idle dreams." Thankfully, I've never taken advice well and have world traveled thirty-five different countries. If I would have taken his advice I may have lived my life with regret over unlived dream.

There is a time for being realistic but NOT when a person is in the dream-seeking stage. "I have to be realistic: I am too old, don't have the eductation, experience, money; someone else is already doing that..." kills unborn dreams. Instead, when dreams bubble up – regardless of how outlandish they may seem - nourish them: write them in a dream journal, share them with supportive people, and follow where they lead. At least then, you can live your life without regrets of dreams unexplored.

Along with being realistic far too soon, another dream killer is…

The advice of my school counselor may have seemed well-informed but never-the-less, could have snuffed my great dream. In the words of the great Sufi poet, Rumi: "When setting out on a journey do not consult someone who has never left home."

I can't tell you how many times I have heard workshop participants say something cannot be done because their next door neighbour's uncle (brother/friend) tried it and failed. When I query, "Did he have all the necessary factors in place ie location, money, product, service, niche, timing, etc? Did he have the passion, personality, intelligence, skills, etc… necessary?" No one knows – a case of uninformed advice nearly derailing a dream.

Then, there are the out-and-out dream killers who cite why you personally cannot succeed. These perhaps are the most murderous words for fledging dreams – as the personal criticism erodes one's courage. Negative criticism is often driven by fear and we must not share our dreams with these naysayers – even if they are family members. Instead, find supportive people to share with, and help build one another's dreams.

Attempting to change our work and create something new invites a host of feelings everyone feels from time to time. However, staying confused, lost, overwhelmed, frustrated, discouraged is a dream killer. Why do some people get stuck here and others sprout wings? I have noticed a few factors.

Some people expect the answers to be given to them by others: the consultant, coach, counselor; other people; or the self-assessment tools or creative exercises. Outside sources can help you with ideas but only you can define what you love to do and what really turns you on. This means the self discovery exercises must be fully done and then, the answers deeply pondered for clues into your passions.

Also, you must be willing to start the exploration research process before you know where you are going. People who stay stuck in confusion and discouragement are people who claim they don't know what they want to do and therefore cannot start the process of exploring and researching. In effect, they want to know the answer without the work of looking for it. Remember it is, "Seek and Ye Shall Find," not the other way around.

So the way out of the confusion conundrum is to begin seeking. Explore. Explore. Explore. That is where we shall begin next month in our three part series on "Avoiding the Dream Killers."

So my friends, nuture your dreams…

Warmest regards,

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.”
~ Carl Jung
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Remember: Be gentle with yourself. Listen to your guidance. Navigate through life and work with more peace and acceptance.

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© Copyright 2007 by Teresa Proudlove of Your Lifework Enterprises • yourlifework.com