Have you ever felt discouraged and disheartened trying to find your calling? Do you feel you are missing the mark with your life somehow? Recently I received a haunting letter from a reader, whom I’ll call Rose, reflecting these feelings.

This midlife woman is a wife, mother of three grown children and has one grandson. She home schooled her children for all those long years and now, is an empty-nester. In her words: “…I am having a very hard time finding my calling and what to do with it when I find it. I have been searching for my purpose all of my life…I have been seeking Him concerning this issue for years and I still can't find it…” I could hear this woman’s discouragement, edging on despair as she struggled for answers.

Thinking we haven't found our calling, or our life purpose, or aren't doing what we are supposed to be doing with our lives - devalues our lives. Discontent and discouragement are fuelled. Thinking we need to be doing something ‘bigger and more purposeful’ with our lives has been spawned in part by our society and the self improvement industry. We have been warned against living ‘lives of quiet desperation,’ or ‘lives of mediocrity,’ and touted the merits of living amidst the top five percent. These messages add to our angst.

More truthfully, as I told Rose, “I believe you HAVE been living your life on purpose. Raising three children and now a grandson is huge lifework. The biggest we can do. Many, of us lose sight of the heroic purposeful work we do everyday… this is the work that really counts.”

We don't have to 'find' our life purpose or calling. Through fully accepting our life now; valuing and appreciating who we are, what we do, and what we have - we then, give purpose to our life. If we aspire to be the best human being we can in every moment, in every action, with every word… we are living life on purpose. And yes, I know there is a part deep within all of us which seeks to be fully expressed.

However; pushing, willing, worrying, or beseeching ourselves to find our calling only distances us from our truth. What we seek cannot be found in anxious thought. We come into this world gifted with a calling or vocation and, also, the talents to fulfill that calling.

Author, Parker J. Palmer, of “Let Your Life Speak, Listening for the Voice of Vocation” says, “…the word vocation itself…is rooted in the Latin for ‘voice.’ Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity…” Most of us do follow our calling: expressing our truths, passsions and values in life although, perhaps not within the so-called ‘ideal job.’

Just as my father-in-law did all his life. He didn’t worry what his calling or purpose was but instead, allowed his truths and values to guide his life. Even after losing his dream job as a Disc Jockey on a classical music show and then, spending most of his life selling clothing at the Bay – he didn’t see his life as a disappointment. Instead he filled his home and many other people’s lives with his classical music; continued his light-hearted entertaining (although now as a salesman) for over two decades; cared deeply for his family; and expressed his love of gardening in every home in which they ever lived.

His truths, passions, and values called to him - and he lived them. This was not a life of mediocrity although; neither money nor notoriety measured the sweet success of this life. As true for all of us, this was a well-lived, purposeful life.

So, my friends, as we look deeply into our lives and listen quietly within, we will see and hear the ways we have been called all our lives. We do not have to find what has always been with us. As Parker J. Palmer says, vocation or calling is not a goal to be achieved or willed but rather, a gift to be received.

Kind regards,

Warmly,

Create the Life and Work You Love!

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