Change can be difficult… yet it is inevitable. Still, we often rally against it clinging, controlling, fearing - making the transition more difficult. Recently I’ve come to see some of the gifts of change and I’m learning to flow with it.

The ‘empty nest’ has been looming nearer as we experience this year of ‘lasts’ with our only son finishing his Grade 12 year. Many well-meaning parents, whose kids have left home, have offered me comforting words. “It is a new beginning – not an ending, you never lose them, they’ll be back,” etc… I understand intellectually but my heart doesn’t get it… yet.

My heart ache worsened over spring break when my husband and I left our son (Charles), his friends and their families at the Vancouver airport for a two week vacation to the Dominican Republic (without us). The power of my unconscious desires surprised and embarrassed me as I accompanied our son to the check-in counter only to discover that I too, had carried in my luggage and carry-on bag from the car! Later, back at our hotel I was bereft.

Then, began the seemingly long two weeks wherein I tasted the empty nest – tasted this huge life transformation. A part of me railed against letting go – wanting to worrying about our son’s total freedom (he was of drinking age there) and the possible dangers of a foreign country. Then, by no accident my much needed transformation synced up with Easter weekend. I was reminded of the necessity of drinking deeply of the cup given to me.

This cup brimming with the change of Charles leaving home; of my relationship to him and to myself changing; and of letting go. I drank the bitter dregs of fear, heartache, and uncertainty and then, something subtly began to shift.

I saw how often my thoughts revolved around my son over these long years. Indeed how he has been the center of my gravity, my sun, with me orbiting around him. “Shall I get groceries now… No, I’ll wait; he’ll be home soon,” appreciating each small connection with him. And, I am so deeply grateful I chose work and a lifestyle that fully supported my family as my priority. But now, the necessity of Charles being the focal point of my energy is rapidly changing. (He will leave for university this fall and is autonomous NOW.)

Also, fittingly, over this past Easter, I saw how certain things in me needed to die, to be crucified, in order for me to resurrect myself and my relationship with my son anew. My need to know the answers, where I/we are headed, to control, to be right, to worry, to judge, to be fearful – ALL had to be faced over the two weeks our son was away and let go of (an ongoing process). What began with a daily exercise in ‘letting go’ of worries - evolved into a much deeper letting go.

I purged my closet of expensive clothes I’d clung to from my retail stores but hadn’t worn or we’re no longer me. Twelve bags of whom I used to be, hoarded over the past eighteen years since Charles was born, I let go of. I bought myself much needed new hiking shoes and walking sandals on the same day, something I have never done. (Having been frugal with myself yet always insuring our boy’s needs were amply met.)

Possibilities for me and my life began to awaken as I let go of how I’d defined myself for eighteen years. I began seeing little glimmers of a new-found freedom for myself and, for me and my husband. The longing within me to more fully express myself and my energy in the world, burns more brightly. As I moved into the flow of change, it moved me to change more.

So, my friends, whatever the change you are facing in your life don’t be afraid to accept what is, and look at what needs to be crucified within you in order to set you free. Herein lies our renewal and gifts of change.

In closing here is a truly astounding video sent to me. It might be the most inspiring 19 minutes you spend on yourself....it is an unbelievably unique view on the science of our brain...and a larger view of whom we truly are.

Click here for amazing video about who we really are.

Kind regards,

Create the Life and Work You Love!

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