My namesake, Teresa of Avila, taught humbleness is a powerful shield for the soul. In “The Interior Castle,” by Carolyn Myss (based on Teresa’s Interior Castle as her path to God) Carolyn says, “Humility gives you the strength to be detached from the need for praise and false power, and avoid the pitfall of craving for approval. Pride is the worst toxin and the opposite of humility.”

Upon reading this I suddenly saw my nagging feelings of inadequacy, which even at this age (!) still hook me into seeking approval from certain people were a form of self absorbed pride. I’d always accepted this fear of not being good enough as an old haunting hurt - not as something prideful. Now I saw trying to win others approval to assuage my inadequacies had nothing to do with humility. The light of this truth loosened the hold these old feelings of insecurity and approval seeking had on me.

Then, a few minutes later, my spiritual insight on pride and humility flew out a window. I wanted our son, who was home from university for the weekend to join us at the table for lunch. Instead of coming down he got his girlfriend to carry lunch upstairs for the two of them. Normally, I let small stuff go but this day I momentarily fuelled a power struggle with our son. With hindsight I see I was stewing on the 4:00 a.m. teenage upset in our home the night before that had yet to be aired. Although I quickly dropped the power struggle I still felt hard done by, thinking, “After all I’ve done for him!” (My dear mother used this line on us when we were kids.) Oh dear, from spiritual awakenings to fuming resentments.

My husband then said, “He’s feeling shame about last night and doesn’t want to face us yet.” My self righteous indignation burned away with the truth our son’s underlying shame. As Myss wrote, “Humility enables you to understand another person’s motivation and transcend negativity. An attitude of humility and humbleness provides you with a shield of detachment.” For a moment I knew the truth of this… at least until the next morning.

Righteous resentment arose in me when my son said he was too tired to go back to university. My mind nagged, “No doubt! If you slept instead of partying you wouldn’t be so tired.” Thank God I’ve more or less learned to be quiet when I’m reactive. I now know that harsh, accusing energy begets harsh, accusing energy. Still, nursing my righteousness I missed the obvious until my husband said, “Sure he’s tired from the partying but he’s really tired and stressed out with school, getting behind, working so very hard on stuff he really doesn’t like… just to play university basketball.”

I’m not suggesting we condone inappropriate behaviour but there are so many choices – with far better outcomes - if we can remain humble in challenging situations. Next our son didn’t want to drive back to school because it was snowing. As the snow was melting and our son’s car had studded tires my husband and I thought he could safely drive. Begrudgingly Charles drove away only to call on his cell phone a few minutes later saying the roads were very bad with one car in the ditch. It didn’t seem so bad in our city of Vernon. It wasn’t until his windshield wiper fluid ceased squirting that my husband told him to come home.

Next morning the front page headlines chilled me to the core, “Woman Dies in Highway Accident.” Yes, the same woman our son witnessed receiving CPR on the road side after her fatal accident which Charles missed by mere minutes. Poor road conditions contributed to her death. I couldn’t help but think how that highway death could’ve been our boy. I wept in grief and gratitude that our boy lives and that my insistence he drive on that day did not turn into a lifetime sorrow. Oh, the price of pride can be so high.

So dear friend, with deep compassion and humility for our human frailties and struggles I wonder – is there a place in your life where pride may be exacting a high price?

Warm blessings, until next month…

Called to Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life.

1. Acknowledgement: Thomas Moore, “Care of the Soul” A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life ********************************************

The folks at SiteSell are always on the cutting edge of everything e-commerce. They've helped tens of thousands of people launch successful Web businesses with SBI!.

SiteSell has an absolutely unique perspective about business, and life. Take a peek inside the world of SiteSell. In the busy, noisy blogosphere, get ready for some quiet, original, and valuable thinking, not to mention unique insights into SiteSell itself. Take a peak ********************************************
"Use Our Free Content
On Your Site Or In Your E-zine"

Here are Teresa's internationally published articles that you can FREELY use as content for your websites, newsletters, and publications. Free articles click here

If you would like more information about Teresa see here.

********************************************

"The Your life work Blog" keeps you up-to-date with all additions and changes to the yourlifework.com Web site.Also our Blog lets you know when we send out our Yourlifework Guide e-zine (in case you don't like to give your e-mail address, or if your ISP tends to over-filter causing you to miss an issue). Subscribe Here

Remember: Be gentle with yourself. Listen to your guidance. Navigate through life and work with more peace and acceptance.

********************************************
© Copyright 2007 by Teresa Proudlove of Your Lifework Enterprises • yourlifework.com