The maple tree outside my window is bright with lime green flowers. The bare, wintry limbs of the ornamental cherry tree are adorned with elegant pink blossoms. Spring has surely come to our Okanagan Valley.

A new life-force within me emerges from the dark, wintry night my soul has journeyed this past year. Something alive and growing within my heart seeks the light of the world. After a time of much solitude, reflection, grief and contemplation this growing flicker is most welcome.

Perhaps, you, dear reader, suffer within your own dark night – or simply long to more closely know your inner light. Let me share what helped me through the dark into the light. My greatest asset, although often I knew not, was the accompaniment of Providence. Often, with hindsight, I saw God’s handiwork guiding and comforting me. Also, I learned grief cannot be by-passed. Even after a lifetime our soul may call us to revisit painful feelings.

The trick is to feel the feelings but not fuel the feelings with sad thoughts and story lines. Sad story lines revolve around how our life should be different, we did it wrong, will never get it right, are somehow inadequate, and how we are doomed to this ‘hell’ of grief, loss, uncertainty guilt, resentment, fearfulness etc..

Yet, when we allow ourselves to feel the feelings, all-the-while observing and letting go of the story lines - we notice feelings don’t stay too long. They change, they come, and they go. Herein, we start to get the knack of letting thoughts go that cause suffering. We learn to accept ourselves and our lives as they are right now. Most importantly we do this in a gentle, compassionate manner for our precious, oh-so-human selves.

Journaling frees and heals us. As Julia Cameron declares in “The Right to Write,” everyone is a writer and has something to write. Julia recommends writing three pages every morning upon arising. Faithfully I have done this for a year and will likely do as long as I can breathe and write. Try writing three pages (or what you can) every morning (or when you can) even if your critic calls it garbage. In fact, writing down the so-called garbage frees our mind. I have discovered time and again that after the so-called garbage is written (I have nothing to say, I can’t write, this is useless, etc) deep insights come to me.

Journaling is a path to knowing ourselves and our God. Within our journals we can see the different aspects of our personality: the critic, the wounded one, the roles we play, and yes, also, come to know our authentic true self. We are on a human journey but each and every one of us is a divine spark. At times in my journaling I have asked God a very direct question and in wonder saw it answered later within my writing.

Through following the many ways God speaks to us in our lives we can return to the light of day. After much reclusive time I was prompted by three people in one day to join Toast Masters. Although I had facilitated workshops for over fifteen years – I knew my confidence had slipped after taking a year off. Joining the group, building my confidence and competence has been healing. Where are you called to step out of yourself... to serve?

Share your burden with a loving friend. Commune with nature when grief, loss or crazy-thinking takes hold. Make time to pray and meditate each morning and night before bed. “In stillness and trust,” is our favorite mantra.

Notice how God orchestrates things in ways that are unimaginable to us. See spring bursting forth from winter’s cold, darkness with extravagant abundance. Know, that you too my friend, are a fount of divine light (which will surely arise from the dark night of the soul in God’s good timing.)

Warm blessings, until next month…

Called to Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life.

1. Acknowledgement: Thomas Moore, “Care of the Soul” A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life ********************************************

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