One day I am buoyed making an inspiring connection about who I am and the nature of my calling. Then, the next day I feel pummeled by an internal critic insisting this writer/speaker’s life won’t pay the bills (despite proof to the contrary over fifteen years). On this morning I take these sticky, soul-sucking thoughts and climb nearby Knob Hill as I have often done over the past fourteen years. Walking in nature always brings me solace and often fresh insight.

Feelings of lost-ness (inevitably stirred when critical thoughts disconnect me from my God) follow me up the hill. Briskly I hike to the top for cardiac exercise but then, rather than march on for ‘maximum exercise benefit’ I heed the call to slow down. Then, crunching loudly toward me, invading the morning lull of the city is a woman briskly marching upon the gravel path.

“Good morning,” I say to the tromping woman. Crunching by with barely a glance my way she breathlessly responds, “This is good exercise. I do this everyday.” I continue my walk upon the hill’s crest enjoying the early morning sun – not yet too hot – and the warm summer breeze upon my skin.

I pray for peace from the internal critic pushing me with: “It has been a year since Dad died. You’ve had lots of time. It’s time to get going – get a job!” When this harshness runs it mutes the quiet, true voice I’ve heard within softly saying, “Take the summer. Keep writing.”

Parallel to me, in a little meadow I see movement. Black, liquid eyes of a mule deer lock with mine. I freeze. In fifteen years I have never seen a deer on Knob Hill. Although this hill is an oasis of wild grasses and flowers, bushes, and a few Ponderosa Pines it’s location within the heart of the city is not safe for deer.

Silently, slowly I step toward her until once again I hear the pounding pace of the “gotta-get-my-exercise-done” obsessive woman. Apparently she is marching up and down the hill for maximum benefit. Her exercise march will take her between me and the deer. I call softly; try to alert her to the deer. I want to share the beauty of this miracle standing a few feet away and to warn her not to scare the deer. But she is oblivious. Marching. Crunching. Doing. What about being?

Thankfully, the deer remains frozen ‘til the marching madness passes. I move soundlessly to the top of the crest hoping for one more glimpse of this godly gift. I crest the hill. She has moved into the shade of a Saskatoon bush and cautiously eyes me as I perch myself upon the rock just above her. We commune for twenty minutes before the sun’s heat sends me home. I pray for her safety. I am deeply gifted by her beauty and being.

At home I read about the Deer in First Nations symbolism. The Deer was the one who overcame the ugly, ferocious ogre who blocked the gate to Great Spirit. Deer overcame the ogre with gentleness and love. “…you are being asked to find gentleness of spirit…stop pushing so hard to get others (and yourself) to change…apply gentleness to your present situation and become like the summer breeze: warm and caring…connect with your centering place of serenity and Great Spirit will guide you.”

What a concept. Approach life’s situations like a summer breeze: warm and caring. Not like a marching machine pressing through a list of ‘to-do’s and have-to’s” missing God's gifts in each moment.

This week when in trying situations I’ve calmed myself remembering - be like the summer breeze: warm and caring. I wonder, dear reader, is there somewhere in your life where “being the summer breeze” might better serve you? Can you allow the warm, caring summer breeze within you to sooth your troubled heart and mind, and fill your sails with the Great One?

Herein is our lifework… Until next month,

Warm blessings, until next month…

Called to Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life.

1. Acknowledgement: Thomas Moore, “Care of the Soul” A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life

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Remember: Be gentle with yourself. Listen to your guidance. Navigate through life and work with more peace and acceptance.

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