Every two weeks my husband and I travel almost three hours to a neighboring town, pitch our tent and then, visit his sweet mama. This week, after a worrisome morning visit with his ill mother we hurried back to our campsite to tarp our tent against an impending storm.

We raced about - winds whipping our tarp, raindrops falling, lightning and thunder almost upon us. In panic I couldn’t decide how best to hang the tarps (which normally I instantly know). Grasping one corner of the tarp I ran backwards ‘til I banged to a stop. The back of my legs hit hard against the steel rim of the fire pit. I barely missed falling backwards into the steel pit.

Hurt shocked me out of my panic and back into myself. Then, within several minutes we had the tarps up and secured - just in time. Mildly damp, huddled upon our canvas chairs under our tarped fly, we ate our lunch marveling at lightning-lit skies, pounding thunder and rivulets pouring off our ‘porch.’

Feeling the bruises already coloring my leg I chilled at how nearly I’d fallen backwards into that steel pit. My wound up energy knocked me off balance and I was wounded. What a metaphor for life: Wound up energy wounds us. Wound (wownd) equals wound (woond).

Also, my wound-up energy blocked my ‘knowing.’ Being a lifelong camper I know in a flash how best to hang a tarp. Not when I was frantic. How often in life do we hurt ourselves with frantic, worry energy that veils our knowing we so need and yearn? Wound = Wound.

Later, I called home to talk with our 19 year old son. Suddenly, he poured his pent-up angst about his returning to university dilemma, his hurt toe, how he couldn’t play his men’s league basketball, his tough job, no time, and NOW on top of it all no buns for his hot dog! Then, he hung up. Ug.

All of that cranked my motherly role. We should go home. Our boy was discouraged, needed us (although I’d offered help countless times for weeks and weeks in his decision-making.) I became unsettled, worried ‘til my husband said, “Lay down on the grass for a bit.”

I stopped. Laid upon the grass. Prayed. Breathed. Then it was obvious. The problem was not about what our son should do but about my worry energy. An image of me frantically trying to tarp the tent came to me. Once again, only this time through taking on my son’s problems, I’d fallen into worry energy, lost my balance and was hurting. In this wound state I’d lost connection to my knowing – my true essential self within and couldn’t help myself or my son. Wound = Wound.

The problem is never so much about what should I do or how should I solve this problem or that. But more about how do I stay calm and balanced? How do I stay grounded in my being, and speak and act from this inner harbor? This, dear friend, is our lifework.

Until next month,

Warm blessings, until next month…

Called to Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life.

1. Acknowledgement: Thomas Moore, “Care of the Soul” A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life

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