Quite unplanned it seems I have written a sequel to last month’s e-zine, “Have You Lost Your Balance?” Last month I shared my epiphany of how wound up energy wounds us. Wound = Wound. There is always something one can be wound up about.

I awoke at 2:30 the other night in a whirl of worry. How was our son going to return to university - he hadn’t yet registered courses, booked housing or thought through money/car concerns? What were we to do with my relatives from England here for three weeks? My stove wasn’t working. Will my husband’s mother, our son, our cats be alright if we go on the week-long trip planned to Alberta? Then, there’s my friend with invasive cancer.

Life is so full. Whether we become overwhelmed and distraught by the ‘full catastrophe’ as Zorba the Greek calls life or remain steadfast throughout the storms seems largely up to us. This is not to minimize our daily trials or compare our concerns to others. But let us not become hostages to the draining spiral of worry thinking.

Worry thinking bodes no good for me, for others, nor moves me nearer to any resolve. No good - no God. Or so it seems in that distraught place. God is always there but we have changed channels and cannot hear. The beauty is that God – God within us yet larger than us all – is always calling us home in a myriad of unlikely ways. Like speaking to me through Shirley the campground attendant at our lovely little campsite in Keremeos.

Shirley embodies a refreshing, simple being-ness I’ve commonly seen in folk of First Nation descent. She was telling me of her unwell, troubled sister visiting her from Vancouver who had ignored their grandmother’s advice to return to Keremeos to live. Her sister didn’t want to leave her kids in Vancouver although that life was slowly killing her.

Years ago, Shirley had followed her grandmother’s advice and moved back home to Keremeos… it had saved her life. When Shirley passionately spoke grandmother’s words to me I felt great Grandmother of the First Nations people speak directly to my heart. She said, “At some point you have to forget about your kids and make your own home.”

It dawned upon me that the worry over our kids isn’t going away because they are adults. (Some say, the problems of adult children only get bigger.) At some point we have to let our kids go and choose the home and life WE need for well-being.

This is not simply about choosing the best physical residence for our selves. Perhaps even more importantly we must also choose our emotional, mental, spiritual, and energetic home to dwell within. If we want health, balance, well-being we must choose ‘inner states’ that nourish us as opposed to pouring so very much of our precious life energy into our kids (aging parents, worries etc...).

Letting go of ‘them’ does not mean I do not care or extend myself or love deeply. It means I care enough about myself and my precious (and limited) life force to let go of the worry… to choose where I want to ‘dwell’ rather than dwelling in the worries. How do we actually let go and choose a healthier dwelling place within?

Finding myself wound, once again, as I lay down to sleep last night I reminded myself – I wanted to dwell in balance and peace rather than in worry. With three, slow, deep breaths in… and out… I recalled there’s always something to worry about and I didn’t want to bleed off my life force this way.

I sent off a little prayer for peace and more faith. A reminder arose: Everything has worked out in my 54 years of life. Could I trust it would continue to do so? Then, in a moment of stillness I felt that essence within which is steady, still and ever present within each of us (yet also, much larger than us). Restful sleep then cradled me ‘til morning.

I wonder dear reader, where do you dwell? Where will you make your home?

Until next month,

Warm blessings, until next month…

Called to Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life.

1. Acknowledgement: Thomas Moore, “Care of the Soul” A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life

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