Recently I entered a Toastmasters Speech and Table Topics competition at our club level. To my surprise I won and then, represented our club within our Area. I won the Table Topics Competition and came in second in the speech competition in the Area. Next I found myself totally nerve-wracked competing in the Table Topics Competition at the Division Level – the interior of B.C..

After listening to all the speeches finally, late in the afternoon, it was time for the Table Topics competition. We contestants left the room and were then, one at a time, ushered in when called. Each of us was asked the same question posed by the chairperson and given two minutes to answer through impromptu speaking.

I was more nervous than I imagined possible. Rivlettes of sweat trickled under my lovely suit jacket. My hands trembled and heart pounded. I was asked: “If you could go back in time and change something from your past, what would it be?”

I knew what I would change but was reluctant to reveal my truth for fear of making myself too vulnerable. In shock I realized I’d said this aloud! Next, I heard myself speaking of my mothering mistakes – at times being more out-of-control than I cared to admit. How, years later seeing my teenage son so angry I felt burdened by guilt. Was he hurt by my past, poor parenting? How I would love to change those moments and instead have been kinder, more patient. But wait; reflecting further I see how that teenage boy has grown into a dam fine young man! He is well-loved and respected everywhere he goes. So, wait a minute, obviously I did do a good enough job despite some rocky roads. On second thought – I concluded my two minute impromptu speech - I wouldn’t change a thing. Returning to my seat I knew this was one of my most nerve-wracked performances.

I’d carefully coached myself before the competition not wanting my hopes to fly high: “Teresa, you’re already a winner regardless of the competition outcome.” Yet, I was surprised how hard I took losing. On the way home that night my heart hurt. I’d poured my all - even my most vulnerable truths - into that room and lost. I berated myself for revealing too much, for ‘using’ my families’ secrets to try to win.

Now I know why most people are terrified of public speaking. We fear being shamed and judged. I discovered the shame and judgment we fear doesn’t come from our audience but from within our own wounded heart. I was so hard on myself and thought the criticism well-deserved. The next day with my husband’s encouragement I found the courage to watch the video of me speaking at the competition which my husband had thankfully taped. I discovered I had not shamefully betrayed my son or myself in any way. Indeed, I spoke of what most parent’s suffer at times and to what a fine young man our boy had grown into.

I saw how I spoke with great heart, sincerity and imagination. Also, I saw why I lost. Not because the other contestants were ‘better’ but because in my nervousness I’d spoken in run-on sentences, my voice was a note too high and my fingers worried my jacket button – things I rarely, if ever do! I know I could, and have, spoken much better.

I’d felt intimidated by the more experienced toastmasters and by the competition. Clearly, I saw this was not about me being less-than but about a few things I could remedy. With less nervousness I could have won. Watching my taped performance transformed my crushing contest loss into an inspiring personal and professional awakening. As I continue to write and practice new speeches at my club I find myself dreaming of entering the spring competition. Why do that to myself again?!

Because there is something inside of me – all of us - calling for full expression. Despite the outcome we are called to pick ourselves up, learn from our mistakes and go back time and again and do the thing we love. To express our passion we are called to reach deeply within - growing our self worth, courage and being. What worldly outcomes can compare?

So dear readers, is there something you are passionate about and would like to try but fear the outcome? Or... Do you have a comment about this story of mine? Or.. Do you have a story of your own about expressing or finding your passion?

Then, please join us and share your views, comments and stories at our new interactive “Finding Your Passion” forum by clicking here.
I look forward to hearing from you and speaking with you there.
Warm blessings, until next month…

Called to Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life.

My Lifework Mentoring program is about you uncovering your answers from within. It is not about me supplying so-called 'expert' answers for you. Now, having said this, you need to know that I do offer suggestions to my clients for possible next steps. At times I may suggest you ask your Inner Knowing specific questions based upon what I hear you saying and hunches from my Inner Guidance. Also, I suggest practices to undertake that facilitate a closer connection with one's true self.

My Lifework Mentoring is about creating sacred space wherein your soul feels safe enough to speak its truth. I’ll reflect your inner wisdom – your holy music - back to you. Through listening to our soul speak we come to know our truth and then, can more readily follow our deepest calling.

"Teresa, thank-you so much for sharing your strength and wisdom with me -- and for giving me a gift I didn't really realize I needed -- permission to truly express my authentic self and to tell the world who I really am and what I offer. For that I am truly grateful." Jan Moore, MA Certified Retirement Coach

Each of us has our answers within - sometimes we just need to listen more deeply, practice more patience, solitude, reflection, contemplation and sharing with someone who listens and cares. For many people - friends and family cannot offer this type of mentoring or support when the time has come to listen to one's own truth above all else.

Within my Lifework Mentoring I offer suggestions and practices for you that have brought me closer to my True Self, and have resurrected my mission and my passion from the ashes. Most of us simply need someone who can reflect our “holy music” back to us and encourage us to follow our True Self. It is so easy to overlook our own ‘God-ness.’

Please visit me at "Lifework Mentoring" if you would like to find out about our introductory, 30 minute, complimentary Lifework Mentoring session.

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If you're enjoying our site and would like nudges calling you back to your true self you'll appreciate reading our “Living Your Lifework” E-book.

Like our site the articles within this e-book are about living our daily lives with depth and sacredness. We are all being called to listen to our spirit, heart, intuition, intelligence, life wisdom and soul to live authentic lives and follow our deepest calling.

Please read the Table of Contents, including the recently added chapter on “Reclaiming Your Passion” at "Living Your Lifework" e-book.

In purchasing this e-book you are helping us to continue operating this site as it costs money to do so. We thank you, deeply for your contribution.

With warmest regards,

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about Teresa click here.

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