Attachment Struggles
by Barbarie
(Lakewood, WA)
Just Me, Barbarie
This week has been a real challenge for me as I look at my ability to relate to others and just allow my relationships with people in my life to be what it is.
Spirit showed me and I have been dialoguing with my Spirit Guide about the different relationship attachments I experience. I am well aware that due to my early life separations and endings I endured as a child, that my wounded self has an unhealthy way of LATCHING and clutching onto other people. My wounded part feels a connection and then, desires to share life’s journey with all her might in fear of never seeing these special people again.
As a young child I was frequently and rapidly abandoned by those that were suppose to be there to love me as their child. I learned to try and live each day the best I could without the need or support of others because I was at a place where I felt that I unlovable and not good enough. So I lived a lot of years in isolation and alone in my own internal world.
In recent years I have been trying to figure out why my Foster parents who promised to always be supportive and encouraging will not respond to my attempts of correspondence. I have been feeling a sense of betrayal from them.
Same kind of thing has happened this week which has caused me to stumble and fall on my face in sadness and anger. A friend I have cherished and been friends with a good 6 years cut ties because I shared with her about the sense of betrayal I feel from her.
I am trying to reason why this occurred. I am left with the truth that I cannot control others nor do I really want to. I cherish my friendships yet when I get scared and frightened of losing the friendship or, sense a deep betrayal I end up causing damage that terminates the friendship.
Not learning how to have healthy attachments with people has really saddened my inner child as well as my loving adult. Might any of you be open to offering some kind of ideas or suggestion to heal from this deep inner pain and grief?
Thanks for allowing me to ask and ponder a new and different way in learning how to have healthy relationship attachments rather then feeling the sense that I have to latch on for dear life.
Barbarie,
Be Blessed, Be inspired, Be Encouraged.
