Often the thing we love to do, and accordingly do exceedingly well, is the very thing we do not see. It comes so easily, so naturally that people not only fail to see their own gift but cannot imagine people would pay money for something "so easy to do."

Like a participant in one of my workshops - who admired the dynamic, guest speaker I'd brought in to share her success story. My participant wished to be 'just like' this consultant and yet, couldn't see/believe how she too, was gifted with a remarkable presence and was a naturally bright, inspiring, articulate leader (evident to the rest of us!) Refusing to see our own gifts is a dream killer to avoid.

Most of us need to work on acknowledging our own assets, talents, strengths, brilliance! If you can't quite believe in your gifts/readiness – perhaps more education, a certificate, or more experience is needed to build your confidence.

Often though, I see people truly have what they need already and they just need to start taking small steps. Never are we totally ready to start a new venture! As taught within every wise childhood tale, it is the journey which builds the hero’s strength. Avoid dream killer...

Transitioning into work we’d love to do cannot happen alone. No matter how motivated or rugged we are – at some point everyone has to bring someone into their dream (even if it is the customer). Support and brainstorming for ideas is key for most people to birth the dream. Whether we call them dream teams (Barbara Sher, “Wish Craft”) or master mind groups this is a proven way of making dreams happen.

Gather like minded people wanting to make changes in their life/work who’ll commit to regular meetings (weekly/bi-weekly), one to two hours long. Keep the meeting to the allotted length of time and on task (visit afterward if desired). Two main tasks need to be achieved each meeting for people to keep coming back. First, each person takes a turn stating their “dream and obstacle” followed by the group brainstorming for ideas to overcome that obstacle for a set time of 5 or 10 minutes (have a timer).

For those who don’t know their dream yet, they might say, “Here’s what I love to do – any ideas?” If they say they love flowers for example you need more info to help them. Keep asking questions, “What do you love about that? What else?” Suggest ways they can further explore their interests. Pay attention to the passion factor: when you hear music in their voice; their body animates, straightens; or their eyes light from within…

The second task at the meeting’s close is: each person reads aloud their next steps (using the ideas brainstormed for them) that they are committed to completing by next meeting. The next dream team meeting begins with each person briefly reporting on the success of these completed steps (or not). Then, again, each person states their dream and obstacle (as new problems will arise). Again, that is followed by the group brainstorming for ideas for each person within a set time limit.

This is a very motivating process as no one wants to admit they did nothing – so they get it done - hence avoiding the dream killers! Plus, people so genuinely want to help one another you feel well supported and heard fulfilling a basic human need. And what seemed like an impossible hurdle is changed with fresh input. Avoid dream killer...

Avoid dream killers like:“What if I can’t raise the money?” “What if I try to start my own business and I fail?” “What if I lose everything?” “What will THEY think?” How long can we live with these thoughts constantly draining us? A lifetime? At what cost? Assuming we have used common sense, made some plans to take care of our survival, we would have more energy, fun and goodness in life if we focused on what is possible.

A while back my husband and I changed our fearful “What if we can’t afford a larger, rural home in this market,” to “What if we could afford a larger, rural home?” This simple rephrasing is so freeing. So, instead ask: “What if I started my own business; What if I followed my dream; What if I were a huge success…? Also, ask and ponder, “What if I don’t follow my heart?” Then, what… Lastly, avoid dream killer...

After saying you need to get support and information; to seek other people’s expertise; to get out there and take next steps this may sound like a contradiction. From my own journey, I found the single most important factor in reclaiming my passion and my gifts came about from time spent alone. Too much doing splits us from our soul and our truth. Being is the way back… sitting, breathing, pondering, journaling, letting go, asking important questions of the soul.

As Dawna Markova, author of “I Will Not Die an Unlived Life,” reminded me “What questions do you ask of your soul as you begin/close each day?” Listening to my first question upon arising I heard, “What do I have to do?” This punishing query repeated throughout the day had me hurrying to finish one thing so I could get onto the next; living most of my day – my precious life - with a feeling of angst. Avoid this dream killer.

When I changed that question to, “What do I know about my passion but have not yet expressed,” I received a surprising yet, oh so clear truth. What question do you need to ask of your soul? Are you willing to quietly sit, being, listening, trusting?

So friend, first and foremost, begin by taking deliberate time to be alone each day. Take breaks from the incessant information calling you away from your own deepest knowing and truth. Avoid these ten dream killers.

Nurture yourself and your soul, and you’ll nurture your dreams.

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