Transforming Inner Critic Comments

Transforming our inner critic’s comments is imperative lifework as, at age 55, I am suspecting these thoughts will visit off and on throughout life. Thankfully, they no longer visit as frequently nor have the power to hi-jack my life. Yet they still come to visit…like just the other day.

I had an appointment with the head of the Employment Industry here in Vernon, BC. to present my new workshop idea entitled "Finding Your Passion." I explained how ‘Finding Your Passion’ workshop is based upon the premise that we all have a deep inner knowing of what our passion is and what our gifts are. I enthusiastically explained how connecting with our innate wisdom is key in career decision making – indeed life. How my program was also about diffusing the inner critic’s blocks to our creativity and, within the last module, designing a vision board with one’s dream and next steps.

The manager let me know my idea had merit but lacked the main criteria needed for a program to be funded by Service Canada specifically: a 'Return To Work Action Plan' (acronym RT-WAP) with a specific job goal for each participant. As I heard him say, “RT-WAP” I felt a WAP! Of course! I knew this criteria. I had worked fifteen years in the employment industry facilitating career change workshops at our local college. In that moment I knew my work and my mission - arising anew from dark ashes over the past year - was not about RT-WAPs. RT-WAP’s were never my strength.

Leaving the employment agency I went directly to my Toastmaster’s meeting. The speaker’s message spoke directly to me. Society and school tries to get us to strengthen our weaknesses. Instead, find out what your strength is and build upon that. If you already are a 6 or 7 out of 10 doing something, with practice and determination, you could excel at that something beyond most others. You could be amazing! Congruently at that same meeting, most surprisingly I was given an amazing public validation of my public speaking skills – and I wasn’t even presenting a speech this day! These messages clearly pointed to my Way.

Still after the ‘rejection’ of my workshop idea, I fell flat. The old inner critic was telling me how I should’ve asked for a job years ago (I’ve had my own business most of my life and it didn’t occur to me to apply for a job!) How I don’t have enough education/knowledge to deliver my own workshop (this inner criticism despite years of proof to the contrary!) Also, the loss of the Career Assessment Program (CAP) I had so successfully facilitated for fifteen years haunted me as the manager spoke of the new, wonderful program and facilitator who had replaced me and my CAP program.

When I came home I knew I was in a slippery place. “STOP. STOP. STOP. Do not let the inner critic derail your dream, yourself,” I heard within. As I then prayed and breathed and sat with my cats a comforting insight came to me.

Rather than chastising myself for not applying for a job I saw how I had boldly expressed my passion and declared my mission to this manager. For many people the thought of going in and sharing a possible business idea with the head of a large corporation would be totally foreign and impossible. I saw how being self-employed and presenting my business ideas has served me most of my life. It is me expressing my passion. The inner critic accusing me of failing to apply for a job was replaced with some much needed self appreciation of the courage and passion I’d expressed!

I asked my God to let me know what else I needed to learn about my inner critic and this situation. Next morning I awoke from a dream wherein a black snake slithered toward me upon my kitchen table. I would grab the snake just before it could fall into my lap and then, repeatedly throw it away… only my throw lacked force. The snake would fall upon the table a short distance away and begin slithering toward me again. I was afraid but also in awe of the muscled, oh-so-alive! energy of that snake in my hand.

When I turned to the animal cards, based upon ancient First Nation wisdom, I read how snake medicine is very heavy ‘magic.’ Snake people are bitten by poisonous venom they must transmute or die (aren't all of us bitten in life?) The lesson is to not reject life experiences or allow the inner critic to poison us. Accept everything and transmute it into what can be used or learned.

What brilliant wisdom. I transmuted my “rejection” from the employment office. I see I have boldly begun marketing my business again and saying to the universe, “I am ready, willing and able to return to the workshop business!” I saw how my God spoke to me through my Toastmaster’s meeting affirming, “Here are your gifts! Doubt not! Fear not!”

And this dear reader, are some of the ways I deal with the inner critic who comes to visit time and again.

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************************************************Interested in another article about Transforming Inner Critic Comments? Click here to read one of Teresa's recent monthly "Your Lifework" Ezines (called Know Thy Self) to see how journal writing can help you transform the inner critic!

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The purpose of my Lifework Mentoring program is to help you hear the voice of your True Self - your Inner Guidance. Only when we are connected to our True Self (God, Higher Power, Inner Guidance, or however you choose to define this) can we live our life authentically and fully express our gifts.

My Lifework Mentoring program is about you uncovering your answers from within. It is not about me supplying so-called 'expert' answers for you. Now, having said this, you need to know that I do offer suggestions to my clients for possible next steps. At times I may suggest you ask your Inner Knowing specific questions based upon what I hear you saying and hunches from my Inner Guidance. Also, I suggest practices to undertake that facilitate a closer connection with one's true self.

Listening for Your Holy Music

My Lifework Mentoring is about creating sacred space wherein your soul feels safe enough to speak its truth. I’ll reflect your inner wisdom – your holy music - back to you. Through listening to our soul speak we come to know our truth and then, can more readily follow our deepest calling.

"Teresa, thank-you so much for sharing your strength and wisdom with me -- and for giving me a gift I didn't really realize I needed -- permission to truly express my authentic self and to tell the world who I really am and what I offer. For that I am truly grateful." Jan Moore, MACertified Retirement Coach

Each of us has our answers within - sometimes we just need to listen more deeply, practice more patience, solitude, reflection, contemplation and sharing with someone who listens and cares. For many people - friends and family cannot offer this type of mentoring or support when the time has come to listen to one's own truth above all else.

Within my Lifework Mentoring I offer suggestions and practices for you that have brought me closer to my True Self, and have resurrected my mission and my passion from the ashes. Most of us simply need someone who can reflect our “holy music” back to us and encourage us to follow our True Self. It is so easy to overlook our own ‘God-ness.’

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